Yesterday my parents announced that they were separating.
I say announced, but it wasn’t super dramatic or anything. Other than that dissolving a marriage of 40 years is inherently a bit dramatic.
I had arranged to meet my parents for coffee, and only my Dad turned up.
I knew at that point that either:
a. My Mum’s “dicky tummy” was acting up; or
b. Something bad happened.
It wasn’t a huge shock to me that something bad happened tbh. My parents have had a tough few years and I’ve talked with them both about it and let them know that I’ll be there for them no matter the outcome.
My Dad was calm and told me quite quickly once we’d ordered our coffees. I think he wanted to get it out. To make it real, almost.
It sounds like it’s something they’ve been close to pulling the trigger on for at least weeks, and maybe months. They kept bottling out at the last minute which I totally get.
It’s weird I feel ok about it. Good even?
If they’ll be happier apart then I’m happy for them to be apart.
I’m worried about the details of including them both fully in my life, particularly depending on how much they still want to be in eachother’s lives once everything has settled.
I’m worried about introducing new people into our family dynamic. Girlfriends and boyfriends and potentially new wives and husbands. Particularly how that will affect the other parent, after so many years being together
I’m worried about them navigating their lives alone for the first time in over 40 years.
But I’m also proud of them.
Proud of them for standing up and saying it isn’t working. For being open and honest about their feelings and what they want from life.
There’s no doubt this will get complicated, but life is complicated.
I guess we’ll see.
This is Day 1.
Gary Allen 